Impulse February 16, 2009
Posted by cokewidow in Addiction, Cocaine, Disappointment, Drugs, Life, Random, Recovery, Thoughts, Willpower, Work, relationships.trackback
Thank God today was a good day. No impulses to hook up with my dealer that I couldn’t deal with… of course, had he answered his phone it might be another story.
I have no willpower. I feel empty, out-of-sorts, nervous, and just well, sad. I have to just grit my teeth to get through this job every day. I like to think getting away would be the answer. But would it? I would only take myself wherever I went…
My husband should understand but really doesn’t. I think he doesn’t like to think it is all his fault.
I am glad that you are writing again, CW. I know your struggles are…Well, they just fucking suck now, don’t they? But you know what? Keep writing.
I’m reading. I’m listening.
Because I really do care.