Cocaine Widow

Weird. Kind of spacey but not too bad.

That’s how I feel. Not out of it… not particularly numb, but medicated. I guess the Lexapro is kicking in. Better that than trying to snort away my problems. I have found a legal way to treat my symptoms without getting deep or going into therapy! Yay for me…

Let’s just say I am not thrilled in this state of mind, but I can function. That’s what they’re for, after all, these SSRIs and other antidepressants. There is no such thing as a “happy pill” but there are “less miserable pills.”

I feel strange about not having any craving for cocaine right now. None at all really. I’m sure some stressful situation will come up and I’ll think about it, be tempted, and hopefully, keep myself on the wagon.

My boss and I talked yesterday. He is a man of little compliments, but told me I was doing a great job. I felt a pride I haven’t felt in a long time, especially because it came from a guy who has thrown huge cuss fits directed at me.  Just feeling like I was appreciated was better than getting high by far.