Cocaine Widow
Falling in love. Knowing this was IT. Living in “sin” then getting married. Parentood. A home. Twenty two years of marriage. Then cocaine addiction.
This is the story of a battle between drugs and love. I don’t know which one will win.
Cocaine Widow
The Other Side Of Addiction
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About...
a struggle I face, not knowing where it will lead me, in hope that it may help someone else.
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Go ahead, tell me what you really think!
Chaz on Trust Burke the Jerk on Wrong TheNorEaster on Impulse tj on Cocaine Widow Anonymous on Cocaine Widow Anonymous on Cocaine Widow
I ‘ve read your entries, we are living the same life, I thought I was alone, I am praying for you. I am a Christian woman married 30 years. I believe in God’s good plan if we faint not and believe. Jesus died to set the captives free, you, me and our beloved husbands. If you don’t know Jesus Christ as your savior, please accept Him now, today. God bless and keep you.
I’m not sure how I came across your blog. I actually just got back from a counselor, and we discussed my ex- wife’s cocaine addiction. Two years ago, we separated and divorced. I have never stopped loving her through that, and have always remained in touch. Now, I’m seeing her again and its so hard to know. Your stories are exactly like mine. The money, stealing, even the wedding ring missing one month after our separation. Certainly they must love us, but I guess we can’t understand addiction. Cocaine, in particular seems to have this exact story. Loss of money and lying are the big part and then of course just wondering how someone that loves you so much can do this. Within a couple weeks of moving out my ex had met a man to do coke with and had a baby with him. That was seriously devastating after 12 years of marriage without kids. Still, I want to get her back and fix her. Love is powerful, but not as powerful. I’d like to keep up with your stories and let you know how mine goes. Lets hope for happy endings.
Thank you. I am soo glad that I found you. I wish I couldn’t relate, but I understand every word….. Mine just left us on father’s day. We gave him lovely cards- the four kids and I. I didn’t see it coming…. But he hadn’t come home the night before – a horrible bottom hitting night for both of us and we both knew he needed to leave to get sober. He actually wanted to go -well- we are pretty much out of money so that makes sense.
he left me with the kids and a big financial mess and a new house in a family neighborhood- and a broken family.
Our boys are little- 4 and 7= and Daddy stopped tucking them in and reading them stories and somehow I am supposed to fill in the blanks? They miss him. I miss him.
My 10 year old girl helps some- but she is confused as to where her Daddy is too- she knows more than a 10 year old should. She is not done being a child and doesn’t need grown up responsibilities. She shuts herself in the room at night and I do my juggle of getting the other three to bed. they usually sleep in my room- It is all too much to handle and he doesn’t want to have them all either.
He is in rehab- and does not want to come home. he is a different man than I knew. His father abandonded him and he doesn’t see that he is doing the same. I am scared and angry and sad.
My faith in God is skeptical at best- I had been a church regular- but I feel abandoned by HIM. I have seen devestation which doesn’t always get answered by prayers. I know blah blah…HIS plan for us- not our plan for us. Well- that is fine to a point. But when HIS plan involves taking me down the cheesegrater of life- while I see others living in relatively stable conditions- I start to get a little uncooperative. I realize no one’s life is ideal- but surely if God loves me he has a better plan than this?! Maybe I will find a “better” man someday- but then why the heck did HE lead me to this one? and let me make all these kids with him and have a wonderful life with him -just to take it away and have us go through all this pain? No, I believe in reality. It just happened due to choices that were made. Yes- cloudy choices at times. and yes- maybe a higher power can help guide us out of the mess- but really- you gotta do most of the work- and I want some credit for that!
I will be OK. I am going on day by day. unsure of what is next- will it get worse before it gets better? probably. I am scared, but take baby steps through it all.
Wishing peace and serenity to others out there. This is a tough road and real life doesn’t always have happy endings.
All I can say is that I wish the best for each and every one of you in your struggle with this devastating and life-altering addiction. Feeling abandonded by God is normal, and so is wanting answers. All we can do is be responsible for how we react to things and situations that are out of our control. But not for our loved one’s addiction. That is their choice, and their journey. Traveling alongside them or taking another path is our choice.
The most important thing I can share with you from personal experience is 1) your children come first, 2) never forget to take time to care for yourself or you cannot care for others and 3) if you have to be the only adult in the house, stand your ground.
My heart and thoughts are with you all…
Hello,
I wanted to get in touch with you because of your recent posts on the topic of drug addiction. I work for a company called SnagFilms that allows audiences to download award-winning documentaries for free, help support filmmakers and donate to topical charities. We have a film called CRACKED NOT BROKEN, an HBO documentary that gives audiences a glimpse into the lifestyle of a highly intelligent drug addict- and her search for redemption. The film forces audiences to examine their stereotypes about the addicted – in a sometimes shocking way. I would like to invite you to pick up the SnagFilms widget for this film and create a virtual movie theater on your blog.
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We have some pretty audacious goals – we believe we can preserve and strengthen independent filmmaking; we think we can use the democracy of the web to build stronger communities; and we know we can enrich a great number of websites with what is normally the most costly content: professional, compelling films. There are less than 500 theaters in the US that show indie films even occasionally – with your help, we’ll have over 1 million virtual theaters open 24X7. You can lead the way.
I hope you’ll consider adding CRACKED NOT BROKEN to your site. To add the widget, click on the Snag button under “Snag This Film” at http://snagfilms.com/films/title/cracked_not_broken/. Feel free to email me with any questions.
Best regards,
Richard Matson
I am praying love wins.
Niece to meet you Cocaine Widow, I am Cyber Widow!
Sounds like your in a real shitty place now. It sounds like your beating your self up over how you feel, Dont! You have just added an other layer of things to upset about on to your existing layer of things your unhappy about!
I read Eckhard Tollies New Earth and listened to Operahs podcast, and it really helped me.
I just started a blog @ http://mywifeisacyberslut.blogspot.com
If you can check it out and let me know what you thing.
R
I totally feel you. I stumbled upon your blog & I have my own blog about cocaine addiction. I’m also an antidepressant consumer. Check out my blog if you would like. Perhaps it will give you some insight, or maybe just a good laugh:)
Okay, it did not publish my url for some reason…here goes again:
http://cokeaddictionkindasucks.blogspot.com/
free from Cocaine 25 years